Rainy Thoughts

Sounds of water gushing down through the gutters. Rain fell like bullets on the roof. 


I never liked being alone during heavy downpours and thunderstorms; somehow it creeps me out. Perhaps it resembles some of horror/thriller movies that I have watched. I used to be a huge fan of horror movies. I will watch every single one of them (Ju-On, The Ring, The Phone, Exorcism of Emily Rose, etc) Those were the movies when I was in primary school. Primary school! Watching so much horror movies?? Terrible. Not in cinema of course. My father don't usually take us kids to cinemas. Hmmm.. The only time my father took us to the cinema is to watch Adele, The Night at The Museum 3-D and Tron Legacy 3-D. 


I agree that 3-Ds in cinema is waste of money. I would enjoy the typical 2-D movies but you should try 3-D movies that are specially directed; available at Berjaya Times Square (Malaysia) and Singapore! You will enjoy it ;) 


All because of my spectacles :( Have been wearing them since 10. Can't blame anyone, I was a bookworm when I was young. Reading non-stop for hours. I continued reading even I'm lying down on the bed and it caused a huge strain in my eyes. Soon enough, my vision deteriorated and I have to visit the optometrist :( 


Since young, I always have this creepy feeling that someone followed me closely behind my back and ready to pounce on me anytime. Due to curiosity, I will peering into the glass door in front of me; in case I manage to catch a slight glimpse of anything. Until today, I’m not sure whether was it just me, or….hahaha you don't wanna know. One thing for sure; the feelings disappeared. 







Anyway, I got rid of this fanatic horror stuff because I realised horror movies are always about girl ghost and it's boring. Can’t they have a hot guy ghost for once? *rolls eyes* Can’t see how the idea will work though. 
I can practically guess the plot, because they are always the same. Girls, death, revenge, haunting, more deaths. Boooooring. 


She actually called me a script writer cos I can figure out what's gonna happen next. *I am such a mood-spoiler* :P This is bad, a sign of I have been watching too many movies, dramas or whatever sort of media. Not good for the brain development :/


Here's a true short story of a lady who 'was' a horror movie addict. Horrors and thrillers accompanied her day and night. Horror moulded her into the state she is in; she was hearing voices that others could not hear. Seeing things that people does not see. Insanity took over her mind since. Was it all just her emotions or did demons succeeded in manifesting her life? What about those people in the mental institution? Did demons toy around with their minds or are they just mentally ill?


I just have an interest in Facebook stickers, don't you?


Once, I was having sleepless nights for 7 days in a row. Every night, I would just wake up in the middle of my sleep; around the same time everyday. When I tried drifting back to sleep, the same feeling will creep up to me again. I never liked that feeling. I would feel a floating sensation in me and my head felt like it was spinning round and round. I tried to ignore that feeling; hoping that it would go away and I will drift into my sweet dreams again, but somehow it never did. 



Sleep paralysis tend to occur easily when I sleep on my back, feeling tired and exhausted. Let me give you a brief info about sleep paralysis. Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which people, either when falling asleep or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. Sometimes, the sleeper felt like something heavy is pressing on his/her chest during sleep or they might sense a presence of an intruder near them; however they are unable to move and this makes them feel vulnerable to attacks.


I do hug my blanket to sleep and snuggle it with me while I was sleeping on my back. In the middle of the night, I would feel something heavy pressing on my chest and squeezing me out of my breath. Sometimes, I thought I saw someone near my bed during my sleep and the sight of it just terrifies me. I have to be cautious when I hug my blanket to sleep; because sometimes it tends to cover my face and I had experienced waking up in the middle of my sleep; gasping for air.



As a medical student, we learnt about symptoms of heart failure during lectures. Shortness of breath, tightness at the chest, and paroxysmal nocturnal dyspnea (A condition where the patient needs to prop up pillows to ease their breathing, feeling something pressing on their chest). I was like wow, the symptoms matched me? *shocked face*



Well, in medicine, most of the signs and symptoms tend to overlap with each other thus it is important to obtain the correct diagnosis. If you are reading some articles and found out that most of your symptoms match; do not go into the state of panic. Conduct an extensive research first, or consult the doctor for more information ;)



Alright, so...at the end of the 7th day; I was extremely exhausted. Sleepless nights drained all my energy and I can’t perform my tasks well during the day. I finally searched the internet about ‘Sleep Paralysis’ and got a great deal of information on it. I didn’t really sleep on my back anymore after that incident. Sleeping on the side helps :) As I was searching about sleep paralysis, I caught up with an interesting term; 'Night Terrors', a sleep disorder where a person experiences feeling of terror and dread. As much as these terms interest me, it would interest you too. I wish I can share with you all of the information I found but that would be too much to handle. I will just leave that for your own research. :)



Gabriel Araujo on mostphotos.com



When we are asleep, that is the time we are most vulnerable; defenceless. Sometimes I am afraid of falling asleep. I always know it when that feeling comes; when my body is very tired but my mind is wide awake. All I could do is to pray. 



Whether is this condition spiritual or medical, I do not know. The choice of diagnosis is yours.


Until next time,


Amaryllisrue.






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